What Are We Missing?

Reflections from three days of Developmental Play training

Last week, I spent three days immersed in Developmental Play at Mountjoy Special School in beautiful Dorset and surrounding coastline. Not only did my evenings get filled with the glimmers of the sea and nature, but the days were spent with curiosity, creativity, purpose and, perhaps most importantly, a reminder to keep asking:

What are we missing?

Led by the wonderfully knowlegeable, Caroline Esame, this practicum gave me the opportunity to step away from the day-to-day demands of motherhood and work, to slow down, observe, question and think differently about play. It has reminded me that play is not simply something children do. It is a way of communicating, relating, regulating, exploring and making sense of the world.

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The Developmental Play Pyramid is something that I know will stay with me. Its application reaches far beyond one particular setting or group of children. It can be applied across contexts, environments and relationships. But understanding the pyramid intellectually is only the beginning.

You have to see it, feel it and embody it.

My day-day to-day work as a SENDCo advisor and specialist teacher, brings me to a range of contexts and a wide cohort of children with a variety of developmental needs. For some children, reaching particular developmental stages through play can take longer. They may need us, as adults, to reposition ourselves, adapt our expectations and provide carefully considered scaffolding. This has reinforced for me that chronological age should never be the only lens through which we understand a child's development.

We need to ask what the child is communicating through their play, what they are ready for, what might be getting in the way and what support could enable them to move forward. When I was in a permanent post, and had the privilege of working closely with an amazing school-based play therapist, this was something that was always at the forefront of discussions around pupils.

The training has also deepened my appreciation of the pioneers whose thinking continues to shape how we understand children: Winnicott, Bowlby, Frobel, Vygotsky, Jung and the Reggio Emilia approach, alongside the growing understanding we have of trauma, attachment, regulation and sensory systems.

These are the areas of my work that I love most; understanding the why behind what we see.

I have always loved learning. I love the brain. I love understanding the underpinning theory behind what we do and, particularly, understanding why children think, communicate and behave in the ways they do. It is one of the reasons I studied psychology in the first place. It is also why continuing professional learning matters so much to me.

Curiosity over certainty

Perhaps one of the biggest reflections I am taking away is the importance of remaining curious.

In my work, I support practitioners working with children with very different profiles. Some children are highly verbal; others communicate without speech. Some pupil's chronological age misaligns with their developmental stage presentation. Some children have complex sensory, relational or trauma experiences influencing how they engage with the world.

It would be easy to look at behaviour and ask:

“How do we change this?”

Developmental Play encourages a different question:

“What are we missing?”

That question feels incredibly powerful.

It shifts us away from trying to make children fit our expectations and towards understanding what the child might be telling us. It encourages us to look beneath the behaviour, consider the developmental foundations and think about what the child needs from the adults and environment around them.

That is the kind of practitioner I want to be and the kind of practitioner I want to support others to become.

Learning together

One of the most valuable parts of the three days, was learning alongside practitioners who throughput the three days, genuinely questioned their practice and collaboratively explored better ways to support children.

There was something incredibly powerful about being part of a group of people who are not simply asking “What do we do?” but are asking “Why are we doing this?”, “What does this child need?” and “What might we be missing?”

We worked together. We reflected individually. We challenged our thinking. We laughed, played, experimented and learned.

And then we moved forward.

Keeping children at the heart of change

There is considerable change ahead in education, with new government strategies, initiatives and expectations shaping the landscape for schools and SEND.

For me, this training has reinforced something simple.

Whatever changes around us, children must remain at the heart of what we do.

Many schools are already doing really good things. They already have committed professionals who know their children incredibly well and who are working hard to create inclusive environments.

The challenge is not simply to implement another initiative or respond to another framework.

It is to continue developing our understanding, via passionate and knowledgably individuals, so that the adults around children can become the people those children need.

I want to know as much as I can. I want to keep learning. I want to be able to bring evidence, theory, experience and curiosity to the schools I work with; not because I need to have all the answers, but because I want to help practitioners ask better questions.

Ultimately, I want to support adults to become the people that children want to come into school for.

Bringing the learning back

This is why this qualification feels so important to my line of work.

I work across different settings with practitioners supporting children at very different developmental stages. The learning from these three days gives me another lens through which I can observe, understand and support children; particularly those whose developmental needs may not align neatly with their chronological age.

I cannot wait to begin embedding this learning into the schools I work with.

For me, professional knowledge only really becomes valuable when it changes what we do.

I want to take the Developmental Play Pyramid into conversations with staff. I want to use it to support observation and reflection. I want to help practitioners recognise the developmental foundations underneath play and interaction. And I want to help adults feel more confident in following the child's lead rather than always directing the child towards an adult-defined outcome.

Because when we understand more, we can respond differently.

And when adults respond differently, children's experiences can change.

Finding joy in the learning

There is another, more personal, reflection that I am taking from these three days.

I have learned to make more space for the things that make me happy.

Being in nature. Making art. Learning. Playing. Being curious.

These things bring me peace.

And perhaps that is not separate from my work at all.

Taking time to do the things we love is something I increasingly recognise as central to the way we should think about children's experiences too. Children need opportunities to explore, create, connect, play and simply be. Our teaching should leave space for those experiences rather than constantly pulling children towards the next target, the next assessment or the next expected outcome.

Working with a young person with a PDA profile, who was unable to access school this year, has reinforced this for me enormously. When we genuinely understand the child in front of us, we begin to understand that connection, autonomy, joy, relationship and joyfulness are not extras.

They are the work.

Mountjoy

Being immersed in this learning at Mountjoy Special School made the experience even more special.

The extensive outdoor surroundings, the staff and the ethos that clearly bursts at the seams in this school, created an environment where developmental play could be experienced rather than simply discussed. This school are prioritising this as a core thread to their staff pedagogy.

The wonderful practitioners dedicating themselves to becoming Developmental Play Practitioners are only one small part of what this school is doing. The team around me over the few days welcomed me with open arms, and I was surrounded by staff giving up their holidays; dedicated to wanting to understand children more deeply and create the conditions in which they can thrive. I can't wait to watch their journey unfold, with all the wonderful plans they have and guided by Caroline and Emma, to make this vision even more so holistic and experiential.

So, what are we missing?

Perhaps the biggest reflection I am taking away is that we should never stop asking.

What are we missing?

Are we missing the child's communication?

Are we missing their sensory needs?

Are we missing the developmental stage they are working within?

Are we missing the impact of trauma?

Are we missing the relationship?

Are we missing the opportunity for connection?

Are we missing the child's autonomy?

Are we missing the joy?

And sometimes, are we simply missing the opportunity to play?

Three days of learning have reinforced my belief that being an expert is not about knowing everything.

It is about being curious enough to keep learning.

It is about being willing to question what we think we know.

It is about seeing the child before the behaviour, the person before the label and the relationship before the strategy.

I am leaving this training with more knowledge, more questions and an even greater determination to take that learning back into schools.

Because what makes me happiest is learning, and knowing that what I learn can ultimately make a difference to a child. This is why I took the leap into consultancy work.

We play. We question. We reflect. We learn. We move forward.

And, most importantly, we keep the child at the heart of it.